7 Things To Stop Doing For The Sake Of Self-Love
I haven’t seen the Charlie’s Angels movie since it was released in 2000, but the scene I remember most vividly is of Cameron Diaz wiggling her bum and dancing around her bedroom in boy-cut undies – all long-legged, tanned and flab free. I was 15 years old and had officially reached the point in puberty when I could no longer go on eating on crap, drinking cartons of Old Crow every weekend and doing zero exercise without the consequences showing up on my butt and thighs. The reason I remember Cameron in her undies so well is because it’s an image that frequently popped into my mind whenever I looked in the mirror. I tortured myself for not looking the same as her in boy-leg undies.
The easiest road to an unhappy life is going down the path of self-judgment and self-loathing – two things I was dedicated to. When you stop loving yourself, you create a snowball of crap that gets bigger and bigger as you roll on through the path picking up limiting belief after limiting belief. While this continues to go on, your lack of self-love can manifest into a whole host of issues – physically, mentally and emotionally. It compromises your health, your career, your relationships and your friendships. These issues can only be healed when you start to fall back in love with yourself.
Here are 7 things to stop doing right now to get back on the self-love path.
1. Comparing yourself to others.
This is a tough one. Really tough. Even with all of the wisdom I’ve picked up on this topic, I still find myself wishing I had Jennifer Aniston’s arms and Rosie-Huntington-Whitely’s pout. While in the past the brief comparison would have quickly spiralled into full-blown self-loathing, these days it quickly transforms into admiration and inspiration. I can now sit through a whole Victoria’s Secret show – with my boyfriend right next to me – and genuinely send kudos to the stunning creatures walking down the runway. It makes me proud to be female, and inspires me to treat my body like the goddess vehicle that it is.
2. Saying nasty things to yourself.
If we had someone transcribing all of the horrible things we say to ourselves on a daily basis we’d think we had our worst enemy residing in our minds. Stop it, stop it now. Speak to yourself nicely, please. Speak to yourself the way a loving mother would speak to their child. Be supportive, be nurturing, and replace the negative with positive talk. As soon as you hear yourself speaking unkindly of yourself, repeat this mantra: “I love and accept myself completely.”
3. Judging yourself
We tend to judge ourselves when we act in a way that doesn’t fit in with what we perceive to be a perfect person. If we eat something we shouldn’t eat, we judge ourselves. If we say something we shouldn’t say, we judge ourselves. If we act in a way that isn’t perfect and polished, we judge ourselves. Perfection is boring and bland. We’re not supposed to be perfect. We slip up, and that’s okay. Just roll with it.
4. Thinking self-love is conceited
There’s a big difference between being “up yourself” and loving yourself. Being conceited is driven by fear, and ironically it’s usually a fear of not being good enough and having your ego kick into overdrive. Loving yourself is your pure, natural form.
5. Thinking self-love is selfish (in the negative sense of the word)
Many of us believe that it’s selfish to put ourselves first – especially when children are in the picture. However, you can’t be your best self if you don’t regard yourself as number one. It’s only when you truly love yourself and put yourself first that you can live up to your potential as a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter and a friend.
6. Contributing to self-hate bitch fests
Self-loathing is much more socially acceptable than self-love. When a group of friends get together (women in particular) it’s very easy to feed off of each other’s insecurities. “Ugh I look like crap today, I’ve put on so much weight,” says one lass. “No you haven’t, I have! Look at my thighs,” says another. Enough! Lead by example and exorcise the self-hate chat by saying something nice about yourself out loud in front of your friends.
7. Thinking you’re not good enough!
Believing that we’re not good enough is the root of all of our problems. It holds us back from fulfilling our potential in this world. It keeps us small. Imagine this belief lives in a box in your mind, then set fire to the box and watch as the ashes turn into glitter forming the shape of a love heart. You are good enough.
Do you do these things? How hard do you think it will be to phase them out of your life? Is there anything else you need to stop doing to allow self-love to work its magic on your life? Share away in the comments below.
Positive affirmation for the day: I love and accept myself completely for the amazing body of pure, incredible potential that I am.
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