How To Crush The Comparison Curse And Befriend Your Competition
GUEST POST BY TARA BLISS.
Comparison is stifling. It stops us dead in our tracks, drains us of our energy in an instant, and keeps us separate from those around us. It makes us feel small and unworthy and hopeless. Even worse, it puts our dreams way out there; piling the success of others up around us tends to make us feels as though there’s still many a mountain to climb.
It’s no good. It serves no one.
For the record. You are good enough. You are exactly where you are meant to be right now. We all have to start somewhere, and for you, perhaps that time is now. And here’s the beautiful truth that I wish the whole world knew: another person’s success is a metric of what is possible for you. What would your life be like if you replaced self-judgement with hope and wonder? If you could dissolve toxic jealousy in seconds? Let’s get to work.
Pause and observe.
That pang of comparison you initially experience when you’re faced with someone else’s success? It’s not always a horrible thing, and it certainly doesn’t make you a horrible person. What it does do, is offer you an opportunity to transform that type of energy into something healing and useful.
It goes like this: 1. Witness someone else’s awesomeness (whether it’s their blog, business, body, style, relationship, or whatever it may be). 2. Feel the burn (this could be jealousy, hopelessness (regarding your current situation) or self judgement). 3. Catch the negative reaction quickly, and notice it. Bringing awareness to this is the heroic catalyst for transformation. “I am willing to change.”
Remember, this person is in fact (yes, really) a human being; not just a blog or a business or a ripped six pack. In my experience, I’ve found acknowledging that the person’s hard work and efforts have paid off fruitfully for them, gives me hope and re-inspires me to keep going. “Anything is possible.”
See yourself in their success
What you desire in other people or situations already lives inside of you. It may just be lying dormant. Accepting that your ‘competition’ is a reflection of your potential is empowering and it kick-starts hope. Also, take stock of your sphere of influence. Is it changing? Are you hanging with a different crowd? Being drawn to crazily vibrant vision-eers? Instead of comparing your life to theirs, instead, understand that you’re stepping up into the same energy as them. Decide to take the leap. “I am ready.”
Celebrate the bajesus out of his or her success.
Breathe. Smile. Retweet her stuff. Comment with love. Wish her every success possible. Beam her love when she’s being incredible. Send her a soulful email, supporting all that she does. Go the extra mile here. Coffee? Phone call? Skype?
Choose not to be swallowed up by comparison and judgement. It’s low vibin’ junk, and I don’t know about you, but I wanna be HIGH on friendship and celebration. And remember, her success is like looking into a crystal ball of your own future success. The same can be possible for you, and the sooner you start celebrating the fruits of her labour, the sooner you can acknowledge your own greatness. “I celebrate everyone’s abundance, including my own.”
There’s no such thing as competition. Really.
No one can possibly write the way you write, or communicate or express or laugh or love the way you do. You are radical and unique, and when you come to understand that comparison is nothing but the ego’s way of keeping us small, you can instead create room for friendships, community and grace. You become the friend that offers unwavering support and enthusiasm. You become the type of person that everyone wants to be around. “I am unique. Competition is an illusion. I choose community.”
Your challenge now is to reach out to someone you deem ‘untouchable’ or ‘out of your league’. Offer your support in the most loving and vulnerable of ways. Choose communion. Good luck!
Author Bio: I’m Tara Bliss! Transition coach, fear-buster and enthusiastic scribbler. I’m also the co-host of A Night of Stillness. I’m easily excitable, regularly marvel at the world around me, and have a penchant for finding the good when things get tough. My life purpose involves illuminating confidence, vibrant health and open faith in others, and I do that through written word on my blog (Such Different Skies), one on one coaching, small workshops, and e-courses.
You can catch me meditating over my crystal collection, guzzling green juices, hanging with my honey-of-a-hubby, and wearing lipstick (recovering tomboy, right here!)
My ebook, 5 Steps to Killer Confidence is FREE to download, here.
Positive affirmation for the day: I use envy as a metric of what I really want to create for myself.
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