5 Reasons Why Alone Time Is Essential
“Time alone is as essential as breathing. Time to check in with ourselves, to sit in the core of who we are and uncover what’s really going on in there. If our cells are repaired while we sleep, then our heart is renewed in the quiet of the alone. And it’s there in the stillness that we truly get to know ourselves, learning how to live with genuine curiosity and desire, rather than need and avoidance.” – Susannah Conway.
The first time I really understood how much I needed alone time was in high school. It was school holidays and I had spent a few days hopping around between my friend’s houses, bag full of enough clothes to last me indefinitely. It was early evening and I was hungover and tired. This was the first time I’d grown sick of being in the company of others and all I wanted was hangout by myself. I called my dad to come and pick me up, went home and shut myself away in my room with a movie (How Stella Got Her Groove Back) and a whole satay chicken pizza to myself.
These days, I am nowhere near my best self unless I have sufficient time by myself. This is the reason why I love doing enemas so much (perfect excuse to lock yourself in the bathroom with a good book for 30 minutes) and why my favourite thing to do is hop into bed with a cup of tea, a healthy dessert, and something trashy on the telly.
I’m an introvert by nature and I’m an only child, so not only do I require regular alone time in order to save my sanity, I am also really good at entertaining myself. I’ve had to do it my whole life. Even if you are an extrovert with many siblings, alone time is crucial for your health. Here’s why:
1. It feeds self love. Quality time by yourself is the foundation for a healthy relationship with yourself. Alone time allows you to get to know yourself better, to get a real understanding of who are as a person, discover your authentic self, and fall in love with it.
2. It promotes healthy independence. The more time you spend in your own company, the less reliant you are on other people to entertain you, make you happy, to affirm you, or do things for you.
3. It’s rejuvenation for your soul. You know that quiet voice you have inside you? The one that you can only hear when you are silent, still, and peaceful? That is your soul, it is crying out to be nurtured. Thing is, it can only be nurtured when you give it your full, undivided attention. Do this regularly, and it will reward you immensely by creating magic from the inside out.
4. It clears space for perspective and intuition. Sure, it’s great to have advice and opinions from other people when you’re working through challenges. However, all of the answers you will ever need are living inside of you. That little voice we spoke about in point number 3 is incredibly wise – and its wisdom grows stronger the more you listen to it. Silence, stillness, and time spent alone with your thoughts (and perhaps a pad and pen to get your thoughts out of your head) is one of the best ways to gain perspective on any issue, and reach a conclusion that serves you best.
5. It allows you to manifest your biggest, brightest dreams. Alone time provides the clear canvas you need to daydream and communicate with the universe about what you want to collaborate on for your future.
Do you cherish your alone time? Can you add to the list of benefits?
Positive affirmation for the day: I treat myself to silence and solitude every day.
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POSTED IN: alone time, introvert, manifest, mind, silence, stillness, wellness
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I didn’t truly appreciate exactly how much I loved being alone until I had kids. They are the centre of my world but I need to be apart from them on occasions (alone) to love them even more 
I agree with this 100%!
Since I was young, I have always allowed “me” time. If I don’t do this each week I become a stressed wreck! To me this is as important as eating healthy and exercising.
I ave had to explain to partners, family and friends that its not about me not wanting to be around them, it’s about me rejuvenating and reviving myself
This long weekend has been a lot of me/alone time. Silence can be super healing and restoring. I’m appreciating alone time more now!
Time alone has definitely become more important for me as I’ve grown older/ taken more on. I remember in my early 20′s “fear of missing out” meant I spent most of my time in the company of other people and skipping a (potentially) fun occasion so I could stay home and read a book in the bath just seemed out of the question.
That’s definitely changed now though, and I really cherish the times where I can clear a sacred space and hang out with myself. It’s amazing what thoughts bubble up when you’re not surrounded by ‘noise’ or distracted by conversations/ activity/ other people’s moods/ social media. Here’s to quiet time! x
Jess what a beautiful article to wake up to…Alone time allows me to hear the whispers of my own soul…when I quieten my mind from the noisy world I can find all the answers that I seek. Wisdom resides within us, as us.
Jess I spend twenty minutes in the morning alone…drinking my green smoothie, reading my favourite blogs and just setting a positive tone for my day ahead…thanks for the positive start. Claire XX
This post speaks to me perfectly, I certainly need to be putting alone time at the top of my list and embracing it to nurture my soul and really heal myself from the inside I believe.
Jess:
I learned to heal in solitude and silence once I gave myself complete permission to melt into it. In these quiet times I do not entertain to do lists or to don’t lists, but I let myself find what is appropriate in the moment. I once came across a book about a lady who facing her fears entered 40 days of solitude. My initial response was I thought it was extreme. Now I think one day I would like to try it and see what it yields.
I adore my alone time. Being with myself more and more, I find that I really like who I am and who I am becoming and want to nurture that aspect as much as possible. It’s like having a wonderful, best friend that you want to do anything for just to see her smile – which in turn makes you smile and your heart swell. I ask myself sometimes “What can I do for you right now, my dear!” I listen and hear/ sense/ see an image in mind’s eye of an answer and go from there. Checking in periodically thru out the day is helpful and important. I also, enjoy my enema time. It nurtures my body (cleanses/ detoxes) and is soothing to me.
I loved everything you mentioned – so important and TRUE! Another lovely article to share in my Thoughtful Thursday post this week.
I have to add that this time to myself allows me to tap into my most LOVING self which in turn I can share with my fabulous husband – he gets the best possible me.
Alone time is a daily essential for me. Whether it is going for a long run, walk during my lunch break or curling up in bed with a good book. It keeps me sane and it get grumpy when I don’t get enough alone time and have people around me constantly. I love spending time with myself which is clear for me that I love myself more than ever. My husband travels lots of work (at the moment he is overseas for 3 weeks) and everyone keeps asking me if it doesn’t bother me that he travels so much. Yes it does but at the same time that way I have often a chance to spend alone time without feeling guilty.
Brillant post, Jess!
hi jess loved this post and since developing cancer, i.e.. melanoma and having regular chemo i cherist my alone time and just veging out alone is just such an important daily requirement for me without any stresses of ongoings which happen daily – a great post and keep up the good work
This is a very interesting post, but I thought I’d add: I think this is true for people who otherwise have a CHOICE between being surrounded by friends and family, and being alone. For those people who are often alone, not out of choice, but because of circumstances/many other possible reasons, it can lead to unbearable loneliness and depression. Sometimes, when Ive been feeling very down, all Ive wanted to do is hide away from the world – and it definitely didn’t make me feel better! It’s important to know the difference between cultivating self love by seeking alone time – and shutting out the world.
Jess, thanks for this post. I’m at my best when I strike a healthy balance between extroversion and introversion. Alone time enables me to do the latter, and enjoy the benefits you outline in your five points.
Also when I’m doing things that are out of my comfort zone – taking risks, stretching myself – that’s when I especially cherish my alone time to nuture and recharge in my own familiar energy.
What a beautiful post- it is so gentle and heartfelt. I live by myself so I get a lot of alone time and like you, I find I can’t keep my sanity without it!
Great post, Jess!
Yes, you can get so caught up in the whirlwind of life + life responsabilities that you feel like a twig being rushed full-force downstream by a strong river current.
Sometimes you need to get over to the side of the river + take a break.
It allows us as an individual to connect with what’s around us, meditate about it and bring that intention Into our everyday lives – making healthier interactions with others
I adore my time alone! It’s the only way for me to energise. I love people but I can reconnect to spirit much better and in turn be a better person to be around when I have spent time alone.
I think my problem is I like my alone time too much! I know that when I get too much in this head space of wanting to be alone all the time, I know something is wrong and I ensure I reach out and surround myself with people. In these times being with people is how I re-connect and re-focus
Hi Jess
Spending time alone is a big part of me. I love spending time with my friends, but if I do it too often I feel like I’m loosing power and I need recharge my inner power. I need that so that next I see them, I can enjoy spending time with them.
For me spending time alone means that I can time thing that I’m interested in, without listening the opinion of other people about it.
Hi Jess,
Yes totally-alone time is good, but even when Kris and I go somewhere in our car together, I have a ‘sort of’ alone time as we are just happy to sit there and not talk a lot (just happy to sit quietly in each others presence), and I never like the radio going as I want hear that small voice inside, or hear from God if He decides to talk to me.
Kind regards, Lyall
I couldn’t agree more! I used to think me-time was selfish, that I should be out helping others. I’ve had an absolute reversal of that philosophy this week. We have to put the oxygen mask on ourselves before helping someone else. We all deserve the same amount of love that we give to others. So we should give it to ourselves first!
I couldn’t agree more! Whenever I get my essential alone time, everything is more clear, and I am more focused on my true goals because I am not influenced by any other opinions and I can go through the thinking process and figure out what it is that I really, really want. That is why, last year when I moved to the suburbs with my family and was always with someone – from the morning carpooling into town until I went to sleep at night – I really missed it. Now that my schedule is a little more flexible and I have a few days off here and there, it’s so much better!
Hope you’re having a great week, with just as much alone time as you need!
I used to hate that quizzes and tests would point to me being an introvert… but I’ve come to accept that it doesn’t mean I’m a hermit or socially awkward, but it’s more of where I draw my energy from and how I create and develop my best ideas. Bring on the alone time!
Hi Jess,
Just wanted to say after reading this post yesterday, I took the time last night and ran myself a nice Hot bath with yummy scented candles shut the bathroom door and had some meditation music playing on my iPod. At first I thought it was a bit daft, but I felt absolutely fantastic afterwards. SO thanks again
This wonderful article has come at such an important time for me. I’m starting to realise the need for some space, stillness, and solitude – not as a way of escaping or avoiding but as a gesture of self-love. Thank you for sharing!
I couldn’t agree more!! Alone time allows me the space to really feel the beauty of my soul!! I absolutely cherish alone time, it allows me – to Love me – as my own best friend!!
xx
I love this ideal!!
I have verbalized my need to be alone sometimes in a number of ways. It’s an exhaustion day. I am on retreat. There is no one to please – so my people pleaser program has no immediate focus. I do not have to tactfully listen to whingers, or people wanting to play poor little ole me or ain’t it awful or let’s save the world or a variety of other personas. I can ignore the unresolved unconscious of others easier because they are not in my face. I am resting and rejuvenating. I am accepting I am responsible for approving, caring, loving, nurturing and healing me.
Thanks Jess! Alone time is a time for self-analysis. It is only through self analysis that one can truly understand our deepest thoughts, desires and faults. Take the time to take stock of what you criticize others for, often this will be a reflection of ones self. From this one can grow stronger and healthier.
Cheers