The Congruency Secret

GUEST POST BY REBECCA DETTMAN.

A few years ago when The Secret ‘went viral’ (before anyone really knew what ‘going viral’ was) lots of spiritual practitioners got really annoyed and produced lots of blogs, articles and radio shows declaring things like a) We’ve known this all along, how come that Rhonda woman gets to be so famous? and b) The Secret doesn’t work and I’ll tell you why (if you buy my 10 week package and pay $1000, read the fine print etc). Well, forget $1000 – the reason the Law of Attraction put forward in The Secret “didn’t work” and left lots of people with unsatisfied pie-in-the-sky visions is because it forgot to mention a VITAL basic ingredient: pro-activeness. Allow me to explain.

Last week, a friend who had just completed an NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) course came over and changed my life in five minutes flat. (Powerful stuff, that NLP.) Here’s something basic-basic-basic, which you can all take from NLP wisdom, too: the concept of congruency. It’s kind of a funny-sounding word, congruency, but it’s my buzz word of the month: only two weeks ago I heard a speech by a South Australian chiropractor who was also driving home this very same important message.

It’s like this: we all have goals, dreams and hopes for the future. Will you achieve them? Well, that depends on two things: your intention, and your behaviour(s).

Your intention is the future you’re creating in your head. Some people call this ‘manifestation’ or ‘visualisation’ (The Secret! The Secret!!!). It’s important to be really clear about what you’d like – as detailed as possible – so that the universe can help you with your request. In other words, I want to be thin and rich is not as powerful, detailed or specific as I want to lose xxx kilos in a healthy way, I want my business to make profits of $xxxxx per annum and import French luxury products that no one else has within the next 12 months.

But it’s no good to just imagine yourself stick-thin, operating your perfect business. You’ve actually got to get up each morning and undergo the right behaviours – physically, emotionally and spiritually – to bring it about.

This is where congruency comes in: do your behaviours match your intention? If you want to lose weight but haven’t properly committed to any healthy eating regimes and/or exercise programs, then you’re not truly mirroring your intentions. If you want to import unique French products, but you can’t be bothered to undergo Internet research, refuse to save money for flights to Paris, and keep telling yourself ‘This is a big gamble and will probably never work’, it simply ain’t gonna happen! And what do most people do when their dreams don’t come true? Blame other people and events, and refuse to accept personal responsibility for their own self-sabotaging!

It’s so simple. Your life is never going to come into perfect alignment if your intentions and behaviours contradict each other.

Another way of putting this is to talk about living your life with integrity. Do your personal relationships, jobs, finances and general health-and-happiness match your core values? Or are there decisions you’ve made in your life that don’t really resonate with your gut feeing… but you keep allowing them? There’s never been a better time for a spring clean. It takes a little courage, but if there’s people in your life, various commitments or personal habits that are ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ for you, it’s OK to ditch them. What’s really inside your heart? It’s time to make that congruent with your reality.

Share your thoughts in the comments below!

Positive affirmation for the day: My actions mirror the highest vision I have for my life.

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POSTED IN: behaviours, congruency secret, goals, health, intentions, the secret

Post by
Rebecca Dettman